Boundaries is the book that’s helped over 4 million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.
Does your life feel like it’s out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone’s requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others’ feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you’ve forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it’s all of the above.
In the New York Times bestseller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.
Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:
Can I set limits and still be a loving person?What are legitimate boundaries?How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn’t control me?What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?Aren’t boundaries selfish?
You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!
Plus, check out Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life – dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.
From the brand
The Boundaries Book Collection
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Resources for Parents
Navigating Relationships
Workbooks & Personal Study
The Boundaries book series has transformed marriages, families, organizations, and individuals around the world, with 4 million copies sold.
Some people focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. That’s why the ability to set clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. In relationships, boundaries define who we are and who we are not, which impacts every part of our lives.
Publisher : Zondervan
Publication date : October 3, 2017
Edition : Enlarged
Language : English
Print length : 352 pages
ISBN-10 : 0310351804
ISBN-13 : 978-0310351801
Item Weight : 10.4 ounces
Dimensions : 5.44 x 0.96 x 8.48 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #213 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #1 in Christian Self Help #1 in Christian Dating & Relationships (Books) #5 in Christian Personal Growth
Customer Reviews: 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 24,849 ratings var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });
Kym McNabney –
EVERYONE MUST READ THIS BOOK
DR HENRY CLOUD has been a guest speaker at my church on more than one occasion over the years. He’s an amazing speaker, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. When I heard about BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, WHEN TO SAY NO – TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE by DR HENRY CLOUD AND JOHN TOWNSEND, I decided to purchase it.I’m sorry to say I let it sit on my bookshelf for some time before finally reading it. Once I got started, I quickly realized what a treasure I’d stumbled upon. There’s so much good stuff packed into 304 pages, I can’t begin to cover it all. I will say that I have more dog-eared paged in BOUNDARIES, then I do in any other book I’ve ever owned.I didn’t realize I had boundaries issues until I read this book. There wasn’t a chapter I didn’t get something out of it or couldn’t connect with. I had thought about skipping the section on “Boundaries and Work”, since I’m no longer in the work field. I would have missed out if I had. It was a real eye opener to when I had worked, and packed with wonderful information if I ever decided to return to working.Boundaries are needed in all parts of our lives including, our family, friends, spouses, kids, and those we work with. We as individuals need to set our own boundaries as well. To not do so would only be cheating oneself. We also need to recognize that God has boundaries as well.BOUNDARIES will teach you all you need to know about boundaries in all aspects of your life, and how to apply them properly. I love the reference to Christianity, but even if you’re not a believer, I highly recommend this book.My copy of BOUNDARIES is filled with highlights, parentheses, and astericks. If I had to pinpoint the most valuable piece of information I took away, it would have to be in a paragraph on page 89.“What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on you. Change your way of dealing with them; they may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.”What amazing advice. How often do we gripe and groan about others? How often do we try to change others, whether in the way they act or what they say? And more importantly … how often do our efforts have a positive result? On page 89, BOUNDARIES teaches us that we are the ones that need to make a change, and by doing so, we may be instrumental in changing other’s life.I can’t even begin to guess how many people I’ve recommended this wonderful book too, packed full of knowledge for every person, written in a way that anyone can grasp. It’s a book that will remain in my home indefinitely.
Cbogam –
One of the best books I’ve read.
This book has had a profound impact on many lives.
PutItTogether –
READ
This is an excellent book for either self or to give as a gift. There is a huge difference between helping someone out and them deciding that you should be expected to put yourself after them. NO! This book reminds you that you are worth putting yourself first.
Yaine –
Best self help book I ever read in my whole life
I wish I had found this book at a younger age. I’m 38 years old and grew up in Cuba listening to my mom saying I should forgive everything and everyone as she continued to let my father abuse her physically, verbally, and emotionally right in front of me from age 1 day to my 24 years old I moved out by myself with my daughter. I grew up rejecting my mom’s way of believing in God but her lack of setting boundaries was ingrained in my brain until today. This is something I just started working on. I have found the main issue that ended up causing me so much pain in my life. I never learned to set boundaries and I thought by doing that I was being selfless and there forever following God’s commands. This book came to me right when I needed it the most. My counselor recommended it to me. Without her knowing she found in only three sessions what the problem with my relationships was. I’m in shock. Like I just woke up from a long nightmare. Now I understand for once setting boundaries is a way to love not only myself but others.Thank you for writing this book. I am doing the workbook together with the book. Churches should get these books. The lack of boundaries I learned from my “Christian compassionate all-forgiving mother” and the churches I have been to. The majority of churches do not talk about boundaries but only about forgiveness and mislead people, no wonder so many people have given up on church. Now it all makes sense.
Ella –
Very helpful for people-pleasers and codependents.
Definitely one of those game changer books for the people pleasers, those who give so much but end up resentful because other’s do not do the same in return. This book spoke to many of the experiences i have faced including one-sides friendships and allowing myself to be taken advantage of to the point of leading to depression. I have set many boundaries with courage and it has brought a lot of peace. I learned the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and how to avoid and address the guilt that comes with saying no. I was confused by the use of certain scriptures where it felt the meaning was stretched to fit the narrative in some places so I reduced by one star but that did not take away from being able to learn and apply the principles in this book. Thank you to Dave Ramsey for dropping this book as a recommendation.
CoffeeGuy –
Sober, thoughtful principles that make total sense
I’ve known about this book for years. I’ve heard both John and Henry speak on the Boundaries principles on the radio. I’ve often thought, “Some day I’ll get the book and actually read it.” So, I bought the book for my son who was going through some tough time in his life, actually never having read the book myself. I realize that something was wrong with this picture, so I read it. I was both happy and sad after reading it. I was happy that so many wonderful principles that are so applicable to my life were illuminated for me. I was sad that I had not read the book earlier in my life so I, my family, and those in my circle could have benefitted from the change in my life that could have occurred years ago. But, we can’t life in the “what could have been”. We need to live in the “what can be” and move forward. I am so excited to put these principles into practice and I look forward to reading other Boundaries books that will help me in other areas of my life. I even plan to propose discussion groups within my church, that I may even lead, to encourage others to follow the wisdom that is in this book. I’ll definitely be going back and reading it again to absorb all that it has to offer.
Carolynn –
Highly Recommend.
Really great.
Jenni –
So well written and applicable!! I want to give this book to so many of my friends. A real insight into people’s behavior and an aid in dealing with people.
kingsley –
A must read. Not a Christian, No problem. You can still learn the principles in this book and use them to change your life.
becca –
I see myself so accurately in this book, struggling with boundaries and experiencing overwelms as a result. I am fully convinced by the necessity of growing in boundaries. And I learnt the very practical steps to make that happen. This book is trully inspiring and helpful, a must read for everyone who struggles with chaos and relational resentment.
Ana Villegas –
Amazing book!
Jovi –
This is an excellent read and truly helpful for those who struggle with their personal boundaries and with other people’s boundaries.I bought this book twice. First time I got it for myself and loved it so much that I went and bought another one as a gift for a young woman who really needed it.